Archetypes and Anger

Anger is a much-maligned emotion. When you’re the angry one, everyone else secretly relishes that you are losing control. Left undealt with, anger becomes violence very quickly. Anger is at the center of most political, religious, financial and personal issues.

When we suppress anger, we suppress ourselves. As a society, we are saying that the symptom (anger) needs to be expelled, and therefore, the cause is never analyzed or handled. The experts suggest that anger is really suppressed emotion of another kind: sadness, guilt or fear. These emotions are not as “strong” or may be viewed as weak, and that’s why we transform these deeper feelings into outbursts, addictions, depression (anger turned inward) and so on.

Archetypes can help. Archetypes are the subconscious characters that demand to be heard. They are the collective psyche of us all. These symbols or universal images are often controlling us like puppets. How often have you said, “I don’t know what got into me,” or “I wasn’t myself…” when we explode or act recklessly? That’s where archetype work comes in.

Caroline Myss (bestselling author of “Sacred Contracts”) tells us there are at least four always in play---and we all, as humans, have these in common. She calls them, “The Four Archetypes of Surviving.”

What are these four? The Child, Victim, Prostitute, and Saboteur (self-sabatoge). Can you find these traits in yourself? They ARE there if you're willing to look more closely.

First, the Child. Many of us may be familiar with inner child work. That’s exactly what this archetype teaches us. The message is that we are ALL faking it. Some of us get really, really good at faking being an adult, someone who knows what is going on and is in control. But in the end, when explored more fully, it turns out none of know what is happening or what to do. “I don’t know” become evil words to us. But therein lies our freedom, and therein lies peace. The work of the child is to get to know her. Assure this part of you that you will do your best to protect her, to take care of her.

Next, the Victim. The Victim is an interesting one for most people and a role I played for many years. The word is at once repelling and a relief. It's not our fault! It was our (fill in the blank) that did this to us. I know others throw a pity party, but MY pain is different. And my pain is unique! That makes me special, dammit. So, don't take this pain away by suggesting that ALL of us have a story like this.

We can choose to stay there, stuck in powerlessness (which quickly becomes addiction, codependency, illness and depression—anger turned inward), or we decide that being hurt is part of the deal here, on Planet Earth. NO ONE gets off this ride without some pain. We lean into that reality and decide to continue making something of our lives.

Now, the Prostitute. Oh, my. How do I sell myself? How do I allow myself to be used for money? Yeah...that's there every day as I go to work, for instance. The boss or director is the Pimp. When we aren’t employed, we feel unsettled, unsure of our direction. I want someone to tell me what the plan is, where to go and what to do. The Pimp knows the direction I should take. This Pimp will make sure I'm taken care of: that I will have money, insurance, status, retirement when I'm too old to ‘trick’ anymore.

Whoa. I find I say, "yes, sir" and "okay" when I want to say: You're an idiot who knows NOTHING! (and we call that "being professional.") Oh, yeah. I'm a ‘pro,’ alright.

Lastly, the Saboteur. This one is tricky. Is this just the ego in play? Sometimes we want to crash the car so that we can say at least it was our decision, and we aren't having to hold our breath waiting for it to happen by other means. We come in a little late to work. Perhaps we don’t tell the cashier that she forgot to ring up what was in our under cart. We drive over the speed limit. Or drive with a little too much alcohol in your system. Pay the bills late. Don't get a pap smear....these are all the actions of the Saboteur.

What to do with this info? It's helpful to see that you have these in you, so that you control them vs. the other way around. And when you spot these in others, you understand their presence instead of judging it. You become kinder and gentler with yourself and others when you meet these energies directly.

And much less angry.