We've been told as a society that it isn't okay to NOT express anger or we will have heart attacks or get ulcers or have a stroke and so on. But his research found the opposite: that to express it is to create a reactionary set of biological circumstances that will tug at you to be reactivated again. What that means is you will be unconsciously LOOKING for things to get upset about...to feed these new pathways caused by adrenaline to survive. You get into a cycle that is harder and harder to break.
From one journal:
Anger can sabotage or inhibit you from achieving your goals
(a) Can’t solve problem: Anger acts as camouflage
(b) Gets misdirected at others
(c) Results in depression & anxiety
(d) Takes the form of self-criticism
(e) Creates tension in relationships
Another observation from Ellis that may shift your view of WHY you are expressing anger:
Anger Expression as a Way to Control Others – Much like temper tantrums in children, adult tantrums that accompany anger are performed with the intent to manipulate others into behaving accordingly, with or without the conscious awareness of the angry aggressor. While it may benefit the person in the short-term (and thus reinforcing the probability of more tantrums occurring in the future), anger tantrums inevitably will have negative consequences.
Egocentric Entitlement – This is a strongly held belief that one is deserving of fair treatment by other people, society, life, or the universe. However, much like self-righteousness, the belief is so strongly held that the notion of fairness only applies to oneself at the expense of the fair treatment of others. In some instances, anger may arise when we see ourselves deprived from the “privileges” the universe has given others, driving anger towards others, the universe, and even ourselves.
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